2 February 2011

Swan ate my trousers

A man from east London was today in shock after a vicious and un-provoked attack on his person by one of the Queen's own swans gone rogue. The man was set upon, by the so called Shoulder of Mutton pond, in Wanstead Park this morning by a pack of delinquent wildfowl whilst going about his business counting the less offensive members of the waterfowl to be found on ponds in the area. "It had gnashing, slavering teeth and a rabid look in its eyes, I feared for my life", said the man. "It's those pesky do-gooders who are feeding these birds filth to which they finally become addicted, and their behaviour gets quite outrageous as they try and score more white bread." This was not the first time the man has been subject to the un-wanted attentions of theCygnus family, prior to Christmas he had his finger severely beaked as an adolescent grabbed for his cheese and onion pasty.

The bastard swan in question

Meanwhile: Skylark feeding on the Fairground, with a few mipits in attendance, some duck and stuff, and in the Park some ducks and stuff and 9 Linnets in the old sewage works. Cast your mind back to my impressively brilliant chart of the other day and you will notice that some months are better than others. From this scientific resource we can see that one could, feasibly stay in bed till late March/early April, go back to bed again in late May through to mid August and not miss a hell of a lot. As an idea it has a lot going for it.

I was going to finish with something eloquent regarding the beauty of certain trees at this time of the year, but considering the shot above I would be hard pressed to make it believable!

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